WPLJ Radio

Real Boss Sounds!

Frank Zappa Project/Object No.#11
Friday, October 07, 2011

Young Ruben Sano

This is Ruben Sano. He once led a teenage do-wop combo called Ruben and the Jets. They sang greasy love songs and wore their hair in a Jellyroll. Mostly they played at high school sock hops and Pachuco parties. When Ruben was 19, he quit the group to go work on his car. He had just saved up enough money to buy a '53 Nash and four gallons of gray primer. His girl friend, Delores Consuelo Rodriguez said she would leave him forever if he didn't quit the band. She wanted him to fix up his car so they could go to the drive-in and make out. Since there were already 11 other guys in the band, nobody missed Ruben when he quit, but they did miss his car when they had to go to rehearsal, or play for a battle of the bands at the American Legion Post out in Chino. The other main guys in the band were Natcho, Louie, Pana, and Chuy. Even though Ruben had left the Jets, the guys still went over to his house on Tuesdays or Wednesdays to listen to his collection of Richie Valens records and also 'Eddie My Love.' Generally speaking, they saved 'Cherry Pie' and 'Work With Me Annie' until the late part of the evening so that they could have something to hum on the way home, or while cruising to Burger Lane. Some of them even continued to hum and pop their fingers the next day while working in the car wash.

When the group finally got their big break in show business, each one of the main guys in the combo voted at a band meeting to keep the name Ruben and the Jets, not only because it sounded real fine and gave them class, but also because it made them appear real sharp. Ruben liked it too even though he wasn't in the band anymore, and he also thought it was real sharp so he said O.K. All the guys in the band had hoped that the kids would get as sick and tired as they were of all that crazy far-out music that some of the other bands were playing at the time. They hoped that the kids would be so sick and tired of it that they'd be ready for their real sharp style of music. After all, they were all good socially acceptable young men who only wanted to sing about their girlfriends. They wanted everybody to start dancing close together again like back in 1955 because they knew that people needed to love and wanted to hold on to each other. Even holding hands was okay for them. They wanted everyone to hold hands, dance the bop, and fall in love to their music. But it never happened. The kids were all starting to let their hair grow long and dance to groups like the Vanilla Fudge and Blood, Sweat & Tears up on the Sunset Strip. The main guys in the band thought that maybe they should change their name after all and start playing far out, exciting jazz like Colosseum or Ten Wheel Drive, but instead they broke up and just continued to work at the car wash.*

Boss Jock, 'Big Daddy' Miles Mellough grooving in the Purple Grotto

Back when Ruben was still with the band, he and all the other kids --- the Cholos and Pachucos from East L.A., the surfer set over at Chevron Reef, Hermosa and Newport Beach, the gringo Biffs and Buffs from Palmdale, Ventura, Melrose and the out in the Valley, in addition to all the spades from Watts and Gramercy Park --- spent Friday and Saturday nights cruising in their cars and listening the 'Boss Sounds' that their favorite DJ, 'Big Daddy' played on WPLJ Radio. No matter where you went, all the kids thought that 'Big Daddy' was the greatest. The Mexicans considered him an honorary Pachuco. The surfer kids thought of him as the Big Kahuna. To the Spades, he was one bad ass Brother. And for all the acned white kids, he was simply the ultimate hipster --- cooler than the other side of the pillow. Why? Because he played all the songs they really liked and he mixed them up with some spiffy blues and r&b from groups like The Flamingos, The Diamonds, Al Coholic and the Benders, and 'Big' Joe Turner. The best part though was that 'Big Daddy' spun his platters from a place he called, 'The Purple Grotto.' Nobody really knew exactly where 'The Purple Grotto' was except that it was somewhere underground. What the kids did know was that it was a sort of secret club where all the hep cats hung out and every weekend, 'Big Daddy' invited them to hang out too. He was the coolest. It was even rumored that he secretly dated Kim Novak. All the kids liked to go cruising for burgers in their souped-up cars, hanging out the windows and waving to one another, blasting their radios, which were all tuned to the 'Boss Sounds' of 'Big Daddy.' Everyone was a member of that club and everything was keen until they all grew up and got married with six kids of their own and a station wagon out in the suburbs. Natcho and Chuy got drafted, and Louie started his own body shop where he did custom paint jobs and stuff like that. Pano meanwhile made the tabloids when he claimed to have seen the image of Elvis one day in his plate of scrambled eggs. Some of the other kids eventually became accountants and bankers, and poor Ruben... Ruben got caught in the crossfire of a gang shooting when the 'South Siders' strayed into the 'Piru Street Boys' territory, and all he was doing was out buying a six pack of beer with his three dogs, Benny, Baby, and Martha. 'Big Daddy' even disappeared too. After he left WPLJ he moved to New York where he supposedly opened a restaurant and later made a novelty record with some guy called Roast Beef. Someone said that now he's living in a retirement home down in St. Petersburg, Florida.

*This portion of 'The Ruben Sano/WPLJ Story' is very closely based on the original liner notes from 'Cruising with Ruben & The Jets'

Useful Instructions

About the Mix

'WPLJ: Boss Sounds From The Boss Town' is a completely bogus late night radio broadcast from the entirely inaccurate WPLJ Radio, Los Angeles --- a radio station that never could have existed in Southern California because by decree of the FCC, every station west of the Mississippi is to be identified with call letters that begin with the letter K. My reason for selecting WPLJ was in fact made in reference to the Mothers of Invention remake of the 1955 hit from The Four Deuces, 'White Port and Lemon Juice' (a.k.a. 'W.P.L.J.'), an obvious choice to pay tribute. Unfortunately it was only after I adopted the call letters that I became aware of an actual radio facility in New York City that has used that particular call sign since 1971, ironically inspired by the same source as my own bright idea. So much for originality. But my lack of creative thought didn't just begin and end there. 'The Purple Grotto' is the name of an imaginary hollow that I blatantly stole (with all due respect) from long time Bay Area radio personality, Al 'Jazzbeaux' Collins, now deceased. 'Jazzbeaux' used to claim he was broadcasting from a cavernous, candle lit cave, a ploy (which in addition to his charming manner, excellent taste and natural bonhomie) won him many fans, and I was one of them. So how do I show my regard? I shamelessly appropriate his shtick for this project (forgive me, Jazzbeaux). Quite clearly I have no pride because DJ 'Big Daddy' is also in reference to yet another real person --- Bay Area radio pioneer, Tom Donahue (likewise deceased) who is credited with creating what is now referred to as 'underground radio.' Tom started broadcasting multiple album tracks in long, uninterrupted sets back in the mid to late 60's at KMPX, San Francisco which was a Chinese language radio station at the time. In contrast to conventional music programming of the day, he and his small staff dug much deeper than the powerhouse AM stations and mixed album tracks with hip, informed, laid back microphone breaks which found a growing audience in the burgeoning 'hippy' crowd (the FM band was largely underutilized until he began programming his eclectic mix of rock, folk, jazz, and blues). He then inaugurated the venerable KSAN, a 24-hour commercial radio station that expanded on his PMX programming and started a revolution in radio whose influences are still obvious today. So as you can see, there is not one spec of authenticity behind this thoroughly phony broadcast. I was operating in a near complete artistic void. I even copped some of the band names from a well-known cartoon character, one Bart Simpson.

Vote 'Big Daddy!'


More About The Mix

In 'WPLJ: Boss Sounds From The Boss Town,' yours truly plays the role of 'Big Daddy.' As you can probably surmise, I didn't work very hard on it. For example, although WPLJ is intended to be thought of as an AM station, I just couldn't pull off that 'Boss' sound with command and credibility. In fact, I'm not even on the map. I was simply never able to master that bright, rapid-fire delivery of 'Boss' jocks with their wacky patter, bad jokes, and endless commercial breaks bookended by corny one-liners. Consequently, I come off as something far less than 'Boss'. I'm somewhere closer to the blend of an unemployable AM jock and a washed-up, late night FM jock with a serious heroin habit. I tried my best, I really did. I mustered all the energy I could to approximate that classic 'Boss' sound, but I failed miserably. Of course recording all of this plastic sham of a broadcast within the confines of my overpriced apartment was not without its challenges. Every time I attempted a 'high-voltage' Boss mic break, my cat Toby thought I was suggesting we play and so she'd begin talking too, effectively ruining each and every take I made. So then I'd be forced to show her the door where she'd stubbornly sit, endlessly scratching to get back in and making even more noise than before. She's actually a really good kid and very loyal to me as well but she's funny that way, God bless her. Ultimately she may have done me a favor because she knows when I'm faking it, and pretending that I'm 'Boss' anything is definitely faking it. So in the end, perhaps I truly did end up creating an original persona unlike any other. Admittedly there are some other radio people I've heard mixed in there, yet there also can't help but be a fair amount of myself as well (although I wouldn't go as far as to say that it's exactly representative of my former on-air work, and no, I don't have smack habit). Either way I had fun doing it, and I hope that you'll find it entertaining as well.

As for the music, well obviously it's all from Frank Zappa and The Mothers of Invention. Frank loved the old do-wop and street corner harmonizing that populated his youth, and he injected many of the greasy paeans included here into his early repertoire with the Mothers. At the time, many fans thought they were intended merely as parody, but Frank was quite serious in his devotion to do-wop despite the pose that indicated otherwise. In actuality, he was paying respectful tribute to the groups that inspired him early on. Selections from 'Cruising with Ruben and the Jets' and 'Joe's Corsage' are the obvious centerpiece of the set, although many of the other songs are found throughout his extensive catalog, particularly those featuring the Mothers. With 'WPLJ: Boss Sounds From The Boss Town' I've tried to present Frank's loving homage to do-wop in an equally loving showcase of my own, and I'd like to think my efforts would have served to please him.

So let's imagine that it's 1950 something. You're a pimply, teenage kid in greater Los Angeles who's either lucky enough to own your own car (souped-up, of course), or forced to borrow your Dad's Buick sedan. You're cruising La Cienega Boulevard with your girlfriend (or boyfriend). The windows are wide open and it's a warm summer night. You along with all the other kids have your radio's blasting and they're all tuned in to "The Boss Sounds from the Boss Town on WPLJ -- 'Home of the Hits,' and you're hangin' out with 'Big Daddy' in 'The Purple Grotto...'

The Mothers from the gatefold of 'Cruising with Ruben and the Jets'

Boss Sounds, Pt.1

1) Program Transition (a.k.a. 'Secret Greasing')
2) 'Big Daddy's' Radio Intro from 'The Purple Grotto'
3) W.P.L.J.
4) No, No, No (Alternate Version)
5) Big Leg Emma
6) 'Big Daddy's' Mic Break with 'Dolphin's of Hollywood' Radio Spot
7) Stuff Up The Cracks
8) Fountain Of Love
9) Directly From My Heart To You
10) I'm Not Satisfied (Pachuco Version)
11) 'Big Daddy's' Mic Break with 'R n' R Extravaganza' Promo & WPLJ Dedication Line
12) Electric Aunt Jemima
13) Mr. Green Genes
14) Jelly Roll Gum Drop
15) 'Big Daddy's' Mic Break
16) You Didn't Try To Call Me (Greasy Version)
17) You Didn't Try To Call Me (Spiffy Version)
18) 'Big Daddy's' Mic Break
19) 'Muriel Cigars' Radio Spot & WPLJ 'Boss Sound' Traffic Report
20) Cheap Thrills

Boss Sounds, Pt.2

21) How Could I Be Such A Fool (Oily 'Demo' Version)
22) Anyway The Wind Blows (Cheesy 'Demo' Version)
23) I'm So Happy I Could Cry
24) 'Big Daddy's' Mic Break
25) Motherly Love (Slick Brylcreem 'Demo' Version)
26) Plastic People (Slick Brylcreem 'Demo' Version)
27) Wedding Dress Song/Handsome Cabin Boy
28) Hitch Hike
29) 'Big Daddy's' Mic Break
30) 'Bear Whiz Beer' Radio Spot
31) Go Cry On Somebody Else's Shoulder (East L.A. 'Demo' Version)
32) Anything
33) Wowie Zowie
34) Deseri
35) Love Of My Life
36) 'Big Daddy's' Mic Break with WPLJ 'Boss Sound' Weather Report
37) Later That Night
38) I Ain't Got No Heart (Cholo 'Demo' Version)
39) Oh, No
40) 'Big Daddy's' Mic Break & Radio Sign Off with 'Rock n' Roll Extravaganza' Promo
41) The Air

Despite the fictitious names employed by 'Big Daddy' Miles Mellough on WPLJ,
all songs were actually performed by Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention
in their last ditch attempt to get their cruddy music on the radio.
The exception is 'Big Daddy's' theme song, which was performed by
Mike Bloomfield and The Electric Flag.
Pedro, the listener who requests a dedication is played by Cheech Marin,
and Chip, the helicopter traffic reporter is played by Todd Rundgren.


Source material for 'Boss Sounds From The Boss Town, Vols.1 & 2' come from the following:
Freak Out! (1966)/Absolutely Free (1967)
Cruising With Ruben & The Jets (1968)/Uncle Meat (1969)

Burnt Weeny Sandwich (1970)/Weasels Ripped My Flesh (1970)Joe's Corsage (2004)/Greasy Love Songs (2010)